i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
