Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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