dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
