Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
