Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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