That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
