i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
