do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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