you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
