I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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