I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize