Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
