did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
