You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
