Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I look better un-naked...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
