he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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