Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
