he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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