Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
