Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
