the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
