Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
