I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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