Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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