In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
