Sponge bath it is.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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