So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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