Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
