We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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