You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
