My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
