Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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