All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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