YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize