can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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