I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
