So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
