Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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