I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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