i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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