this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I will pee on everything he values.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
