You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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