How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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