Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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