Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
