i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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