I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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