she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
