i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
