i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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