she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
