YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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