You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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