no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
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Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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