Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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