Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Randomize
