ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize