Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well you can't waste a boner
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
