You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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