Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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