Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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