I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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