Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
