I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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