Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
