Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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