hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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