Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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