Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
