Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
