Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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