pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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