i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
